Portland Wins yet another Beer Game

I�m not a beer snob by any stretch of the imagination. The word �connoisseur� would get me laughed out of most circles. And get this, I wasn�t even allowed to drink in college. I attended a Bible college in the Midwest (it's a great school). But I love beer. And I'm finished with school so occasionally I enjoy a good one (okay, �occasionally� was a bad word choice).

I almost titled this �Portland Ruins yet another Mid-Western Beer Drinker.� And I very well could have because that�s what it did. The greatest city in the Northwest ruined me. And I'm here tell about it. It�s a tragic tale. It really is.

I recently moved from Portland back home to Missouri. A drastic and brave move if you ask me. This place is a real bore sometimes. Not much is shaking in the Midwest. Portland looms large in my heart. But this is home and I�ll embrace it nonetheless (at least for a few more weeks�I�m leaving for China very soon if all the paper work goes through). But this place is special to me. It holds all the familiar quirks and smells that I�m used to. I can�t abandon it just yet.

Out on the town I leaned in and asked the hearty blonde haired waitress with exaggerated curls and spritz perfume what she had on her beer menu and she replied most mysteriously, �Bud Light, Budweiser, Miller Lite, Miller High Life, Miller Genuine Draft, Busch, Busch Light, Coors, Coors Light, Pabst etc� I scratched my head and asked, �Corona?� She shook her head and said, �No.�

I don�t remember what I drank that night, and no not because I drank too much, but because it was awful. I am baffled. I really am. How did frat-boy light-beer win the Midwest beer game? I don't like it.

I am beginning to understand why most Christians in the Midwest demonize beer. Chalk it up, it's a taboo 'round them here parts. But it can't be because beer is evil. No, that�s foolishness. Drunkenness is evil. I believe we've ostracized beer in the Midwest because the only names that are known around here sound so much like Bud Light and Coors Light. If this is the case then I don�t blame you (Midwest) for your beer hating. I mean, you don�t know the other names. The better names. Here are a few . . . take notes: Deschutes, Widmer�s, BridgePort, McMenamins, Rogue, Full Sail, Henry Weinhard's.

And I haven�t even scratched the surface. I told you I wasn�t a snob. Somebody else please fill-in the blanks. But I promise you won�t hate beer anymore. Or at least you�ll hate the right beer for the right reasons. Proper hate is good. I'll let you hate Busch Light if you like Deschutes Black Butte Porter.

I cannot go back. I can�t possibly nurse a Miller Lite. And like that . . . Portland wins again.

Posted in: Beer,Eric Allen,Midwest,Portland